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I'M ONE OF those people who associates the name Tony Hawk with the googly-eyed Britisli comedian who played the vending machine in Red Dwarf, rather than the kneecap-shattering maniac who crops up occasionally on youth television saying things like, 'Switch pop shove it,' and explaining how he, 'Boned ollie.' However, I did grow up in the '80s with a skateboard decked out in neon green sandpaper (for extra grip), so such things aren't beyond me.
In this latest offering from the skateboarding legend, you run, skateboard (obviously) and BMX your way around some fairly uninspiring locations, performing tricks for cash and spending it on a new hat or two. While jumping and grinding your own way about town can be great fun, the forced GTA-style missions that drive the story are far from pleasant, revolving largely around pulling off endless tricks and combos. Failure is a 'back to square one' process that culminates all too easily in utter frustration and a fist through your monitor.
Tony Hawk's American Wasteland is a console port, so you know the drill. Infuriating controls, so-so graphics and a nonsensical camera are all present and correct. The 'no levels, no load times' selling point is a bit of a lie, as your PC chugs and stops to think in the corridors that link the bland districts together: San Andreas on a board, this most certainly isn't.
Fingers And Thumbs
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Tony Hawk Parents
Your enjoyment of Wasteland also depends on how many fingers and thumbs you've got. If it's more than the regulation ten issued to the majority of us by those in the know, you might be alright. Without wacky mutated hands though, you'll find yourself stabbing wildly at any buttons you can to pull off moves.
Tony Hawk Clothing
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Admittedly, performing the mid-air aerobatics we were so cruelly unable to pull off as clown-footed pre-teens was undeniably enjoyable, while the ability to customise your character and skate about with reckless abandon like Marty McFly were definite plus-points. However, the fun factor is most definitely missing in Wasteland, and it's difficult to recommend spending any money on a port of a sub-par console game when your PC is capable of something exponentially more delightful.